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Free Yourself from FOMO: Try JOMO Instead

Picture this: you're scrolling through your feed. Everyone seems to be somewhere exotic. Exciting. —sunset rooftop parties, amazing concerts, lavish dinners, stimulating lectures and long-awaited book launches. And there you are… in sweatpants, eating cereal out of the box.


There was a stretch of my life when I lived on a steady drip of comparison.Every time I opened my phone, there it was: Someone was launching something. Traveling somewhere. Celebrating something.


And I wasn’t bitter or envious — I was exhausted.


Because no matter what I was doing, it always felt like there was something better, bigger, or more exciting happening somewhere else. And it’s not just a catchy phrase. It’s a sneaky, sticky kind of anxiety that steals your presence, your peace, and your ability to fully enjoy your own life.



But then I realized that JOMO — the Joy of Missing Out — isn't about opting out of life. It's about opting into the life that's happening right in front of me. It's not about caring less about what everyone else is doing —It's about caring more about what I’m doing.


The coffee that tastes better because I'm actually sitting still to enjoy it.

The conversations that go deeper because I'm not half-scrolling while someone’s talking.

The space where peace isn’t something I stumble upon — it’s something I create when I choose to be fully present.

And the wild part? The more present I became, the less I feared missing out — because I wasn’t missing out. I was finally in my life, instead of watching everyone else’s.



 

What is FOMO?


FOMO—Fear of Missing Out—isn’t just a social media buzzword or a millennial meme. It’s a primal brain response. At its core, FOMO is anxiety that you're being excluded from rewarding experiences others are having.


The thing about FOMO is that it’s not about envy. It’s about belonging. Our brains are wired to connect, to be included, to find safety in the tribe. Thousands of years ago, being left out wasn’t just sad—it was dangerous. Social exclusion meant vulnerability and was a matter of life or death. Your brain remembers that, even if your rational mind is rolling its eyes.

 

The Brain Behind the Buzz


Let's dive into the geeky details for a moment:


Amygdala: This small, almond-shaped part of your brain is responsible for scanning for threats. Feeling left out is considered a threat, and it triggers stress, alerting your body to potential social danger.

Dopamine: The brain's reward system activates when we anticipate pleasure—like the excitement of the fun we think everyone else is having without us. This anticipation can become addictive, keeping us glued to our screens.

Anterior Cingulate Cortex: This area of the brain processes both physical and social pain. The pang you feel when you see friends laughing without you? It’s not just emotional; it’s neurologically similar to the pain of stubbing your toe.


FOMO in the Age of Filters


Social media amplifies FOMO like a megaphone in your limbic system. We’re not just seeing that others are out there doing things—we’re seeing a curated, filtered, hyper-edited montage of joy, connection, success, and status. And your brain is terrible at remembering that it’s not the whole story. We compare our behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel, and wonder why we feel like we're falling behind.


That’s the bad news. Here’s the good news: we can outsmart FOMO with a little knowledge.  Here are 3 brain-savvy strategies:


1. Name it to tame it. Simply recognizing, “Hey, I’m feeling FOMO right now,” activates your prefrontal cortex—your rational brain—and quiets that limbic freak-out.

2. Take a digital detox. Even a few hours off your device can reset your dopamine cycle. Get bored. Breathe. Be present. Your nervous system will thank you.

3. Swap FOMO for JOMO. Not every experience is an action-packed social gathering. Sometimes, the greatest luxury is reconnecting with yourself—recharging, recentering, and rediscovering the quiet joy of simply being present.

The secret to transforming FOMO into JOMO lies in flipping the script your brain keeps playing. Instead of fixating on what you're missing, you start savoring what you’re choosing. JOMO—the Joy of Missing Out—isn’t about isolation or indifference. It’s about being intentional about your experiences.


You’re no longer at the mercy of every invitation, notification, or highlight reel. Instead, you reclaim your energy, your time, and your peace. You trade comparison for contentment, distraction for presence, and scarcity for abundance.


This. Here. Now.


 

2 Comments

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Guest
Jul 11
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

Damn! I always thought FOMO was "Fond of Mouthing Off"! Now I have to recalibrate my whole life. Fine, Melissa, and thanks for upsetting my cart of Honeycrisps! 😵‍💫

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Guest
Jul 08
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

Me FOMO?? OMG, YES! LOL

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