The Most Common Decision-Making Trap

Charles Darwin and his newly wed wife, Emma.

When was the last time you wrestled with a big decision? Chances are, you reached for the same tool Charles Darwin did nearly two centuries ago: the classic “pros and cons” list. At 29, Darwin sketched out whether he should marry Emma Wedgwood, weighing companionship, freedom, and social life. His conclusion? A wife would be better than a dog. He married Emma in 1839—and the rest is history.

Darwin's original notes displayed in the Darwin Archive in Cambridge University Library. Darwin's "Marry" column included having a “constant companion,” “charms of music & female chit-chat” and "someone to take care of the house." In the "Not Marry" column was "freedom to go where one likes," "conversations of clever men at clubs" and "not forced to visit relatives."

The Trap: Limiting Yourself to Two Options

We often romanticize Darwin’s list as some antiquated curiosity. But the truth is, most of us still make important decisions that way—a binary either/or, pros vs. cons. And that’s exactly why many decisions don’t land.

In business and leadership, limiting yourself to two options is the most common blind spot. A classic study by Paul Nutt found that of 78 strategic decisions made by senior execs, only 29% considered more than one workable alternative. When just one extra option was considered, the decision was six times more likely to be rated “highly successful.” 

When you limit your choices—“Go left or right? Accept or decline? Stay or quit?”—you box yourself into a false frame. You don’t see possibility. You don’t see creative detours. You see constraint.

Why You Fall Into the Trap

If pros-and-cons lists and either/or choices are so limiting, why do we keep falling back on them? The answer is simple: our brains like shortcuts. Under stress, uncertainty, or time pressure, the mind gravitates toward the easiest frame—even if it’s the wrong one. And that’s where you'll find the decision making traps.

• Confirmation bias: You look for evidence supporting what you already believe, and ignore what challenges it. (Think of the manager who only notices data that backs the strategy they’ve already decided to pursue.)

• Fear of regret: The more alternatives you imagine, the more you fear making the “wrong” one. (Like agonizing over a dinner menu—then just ordering the same thing as last time to avoid regret.)

• Decision fatigue: You run out of cognitive energy and default to the simplest binary. (After a long day, it’s not “what’s best for dinner?”—it’s “cook or order takeout.”)

• Social pressure / expectation: Sometimes people expect your decision to look a certain way, so you close off options subconsciously to avoid scrutiny. (A team leader might push through a “safe” option just because it matches what the board wants to hear.)

How to Break Free: A Smarter Decision Framework

1. Start with three (or more) options: Don’t settle for A vs. B. Brainstorm C, D, E. The more you stretch your space of possibilities, the more likely you’ll land on something unexpected but better.

2. Invert the question: Ask: “What would I do if I had to pick something utterly different from my two options?” Or: “What choice would I avoid, and why?”

3. Invite dissenting voices: Get someone who dislikes your preferred option to push back. Let them argue against your leaning. You’ll uncover what you overlooked.

4. Build a “discovery mode” pause: If the decision feels heavy, pause and gather insight, not data. Take walks, write stream-of-consciousness, talk to someone—not to resolve but to explore.

5. Set a guardrail, not a prison: Instead of “I can only pick A or B,” set a threshold: “I’ll eliminate any option if it fails X, Y, Z criteria.” This gives breathing space without limitless paralysis.

   
   

The next time you’re staring down a big decision, resist the trap of either/or. Expand your options, test the unconventional, invite pushback, and give your brain space to explore. Set guardrails instead of hard walls. And most importantly, remember this: feeling boxed in doesn’t mean you are. Your constraints are not your destiny.

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