Ah, Valentine’s Day. That one day a year when love is expected and chocolate is expensive. Whether you’re a hopeless romantic or someone who side-eyes the whole thing, have you ever wondered how this holiday of heart-shaped madness actually began? Buckle up—the dark history of Valentine's Day is a wild ride.
It all Started with the Romantic Romans
Although historians quibble over the actual origin of the holiday, the Romans “celebrated” long before Hallmark. Back in the day (we’re talking way back), there was a festival called Lupercalia. What was it? Oh, just a an annual festival in the month of February that was celebrated to chase out evil spirits and increase the fertility of the females. The men sacrificed a goat and a dog, and then whipped women with the hides of the animals they had just slain. According to some historians, the guys were drunk and naked while the women lined up for their turn with the whip. Pretty romantic, huh?
Somewhere along the way, Emperor Claudius II decided that young men made better soldiers when they weren’t distracted by love, so he banned marriage. But a rogue priest named Valentine thought that was dumb and continued to marry couples on the downlow.
When Claudius discovered this, he arrested Valentine and ordered death by beheading. The sentence was carried out on February 14, on or about the year 270. Legend also has it that St. Valentine was a hopeless romantic to the very end. While in jail awaiting his execution, he left a farewell note for the jailer’s daughter and signed it “From Your Valentine.”
The Catholic Church Rebranding Project
Fast forward a few centuries, and the Catholic Church decided to turn this whole mess into something more… ahem... marketable. They declared Saint Valentine a martyr and attached his name to February 14th, conveniently ignoring the whipping people with goat skins part. Nice rebranding move, huh?
Enter: Chaucer, Shakespeare & Capitalism
In the Middle Ages, along came *Geoffrey Chaucer*, the guy who made writing in English cool. He wrote a poem about birds choosing their mates on February 14th, which somehow got interpreted as “Love Day for Humans.”
Then Shakespeare, never one to miss a good drama opportunity, referenced St. Valentine in Hamlet. Boom—now everyone in Europe thought this was a legit romance holiday.
By the 1800s, people started exchanging handwritten love notes. But, of course, that wasn’t good enough. Enter the Valentine’s Day Industrial Complex:
💌 In the 1900s, companies like Hallmark realized they could mass-produce love and started selling pre-written cards (because nothing says "deep personal affection" like a generic poem printed in bulk).
🍫 Chocolate companies saw an opportunity and decided that sugar = love. Now, we can’t survive February 14th without heart-shaped boxes of overpriced sweets.
💐 Florists got involved too, convincing everyone that roses(which were previously just a nice garden flower) were now mandatory expressions of love.
Social Media (to the Rescue?)
And now? Valentine’s Day has reached its final form: the "Instagram holiday". Because what’s the point of being loved if you don’t post a photo of it? Whether it’s grand romantic gestures or the ever-popular "Galentine’s Day” brunch, if it’s not online, did it even happen?
So there you have it—a holiday that started with ancient Romans *whipping people* and ended with us aggressively buying chocolate and flowers out of social obligation. Whether you celebrate it or not, just remember:
Love isn’t about *one* day. It’s about consistently *choosing* your person (or yourself) every day.
And if you’re single, you win anyway—because **discount chocolate on February 15th** is the real MVP.
If you find yourself feeling lonely this Valentine’s Day, don’t beat yourself up. We are wired for companionship, intimacy and the human connection. There is a wealth of research over the last 50 years showing how human connection and sense of belonging builds resilience, counters stress, and improves physical, emotional and mental health – especially during difficult times.
Happy Valentine’s Day (or not)!
Valentine’s Day Fun Facts:
Today, “Be mine” means big business. According to the National Retail Federation, we'll be spending a record $27.5 billion on Valentine’s Day this year. The amount is up from last year’s $25.8 billion and slightly above the previous record of $27.4 billion set in 2020. Shoppers plan to spend $188.81 on average on the holiday, up from $185.81 in 2024.
February 14th is the second largest card giving day of the year, just after Christmas.
Approximately 8.2 billion conversation hearts are produced each year – enough to stretch from Valentine, Arizona to Rome, Italy, and back again.
Men spend an average of $130 while women spend about $70.
If I didn't know you better, I'd suspect a cynic. 😋
I forgot to mention that my Birthday is on Feb. the 15th. Biologically speaking, I was born 3.5 to 4 billion years ago... give or take a million years.
Thank you for your comments on Valentine's day. I send along a poem I wrote about Valentine's day several years ago because I could not (at the time) find a poem which was explicitly written for the day. Whereas there were multiple poems about love, there were none which (I felt) were specifically concerning the tradition. And no, I am not flirting with you.